'somtimes its so hard to see what it is you want in the future
when all you can do is look back into your past.
how everything has brought you to this point
& what hasnt broke you has made you stronger.'

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I would like to think that was true sometimes. Right now, just alot of inner struggle and confusion. Such as making the right decision in your mind vs. the right decision in your heart. Sometimes things are so complicated and maybe thats the beauty of all the chaos around us. Sometimes i really wished the anser would be there right infront of me, so i could have it easy but thats not the way the world works. You work hard to make things better. Gaahh..sometimes i feel so lazy though. I guess that just really tests if i really want it or not.

I just came off of a tournment where my results wernt the greatest. During the finals i dont know what was wrong with me. Maybe it was my mentality, but regardless i lost because i gave into my own inner weakness. I really wish i could figure out what it is i need to sort out in my head to be able to focus on other things. After the game i wasnt angry at myself like i usually am but more dissapointed. I didnt WANT to win that game as bad as i NEEDED to. Thats my fault i guess. Otherwise the weekened was good beside a couple incidents where i was confused about things around me. I'll keep thoes to myself.

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'wage war with your heart and desires because sometimes what you think you want isnt really what you need. Or...some shit like that. '

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p.s this is for this person that caught my eye ealier today. If you ever downstare me again i WILL kick your ass...no matter WHO your with because...i just dont care anymore.

-pceout.