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Happy Endings Are for Fairy Tales - Forgetting.Eternity
take a brief glimpse by clicking the letters
take a brief glimpse by clicking the letters
there's no way out, the only way out is to give in
when there's no way out, the only way out is to give in
How I love to ...give in
j.wong; never an easy answer
carpe diem quam minimum credula postero
seize the day, trust no tomorrows;
that which does not kill me makes me stronger
when there's no way out, the only way out is to give in
How I love to ...give in
{/The Face Behind The Mask --
Do you really want to know?
j.wong; never an easy answer
carpe diem quam minimum credula postero
seize the day, trust no tomorrows;
that which does not kill me makes me stronger
Here no one sleeps, one lays up while the other lies down
Where no one sleeps, one lays up while the other lies down
Ask the line on your face what the line on your hand meant
We,we couldn't see what was coming
Pissed off doesnt even BEGIN to describe how upset and angry i am. It doesn't tell the story of how much i hate them (to a degree), how much i hate me, how much i regret being born, how much i don't want to talk to anyone (and for once...anyone MEANS anyone) and how much i really wanted for them to come home and find me dead (of boredom, foul play or suicide). I wonder how they would feel knowing that it was THEIR fault (or would they?) Maybe that scares me a little, the fact that MAYBE they wouldn't care. I wasn't what they barganed for, I'm not their perfect ideal little girl, and I'm definately not half of what they wanted. I think under 17 years of this type of opression, approx. 70% of the test subjects would kill themselves, 10% would be scared into silence and obligation (such as the other little one in the house) , 15% would turn into drugies or extream rebels, and 5% would be hurting and dying with every breath they take, pretending that things are okay. I want to be part of that 70% please.
Just how would you feel if your "parents" told you constantly that you were useless, that you should run head first into a wall and kill yourselves, that your stupid, that they don't believe in you, as well as constantly mock every part of your life? I'm fucking SICK of this. It's like a ticking time bomb, when will she go off? when will she go boom? When will she finally be pushed SO far that she doesn't feel like she can take anymore. I think we're getting close to fireworks.
Where no one sleeps, one lays up while the other lies down
Ask the line on your face what the line on your hand meant
We,we couldn't see what was coming
{/idealy...or not --
Sunday, September 7, 2008 ( 11:37 a.m. )
Pissed off doesnt even BEGIN to describe how upset and angry i am. It doesn't tell the story of how much i hate them (to a degree), how much i hate me, how much i regret being born, how much i don't want to talk to anyone (and for once...anyone MEANS anyone) and how much i really wanted for them to come home and find me dead (of boredom, foul play or suicide). I wonder how they would feel knowing that it was THEIR fault (or would they?) Maybe that scares me a little, the fact that MAYBE they wouldn't care. I wasn't what they barganed for, I'm not their perfect ideal little girl, and I'm definately not half of what they wanted. I think under 17 years of this type of opression, approx. 70% of the test subjects would kill themselves, 10% would be scared into silence and obligation (such as the other little one in the house) , 15% would turn into drugies or extream rebels, and 5% would be hurting and dying with every breath they take, pretending that things are okay. I want to be part of that 70% please.
Just how would you feel if your "parents" told you constantly that you were useless, that you should run head first into a wall and kill yourselves, that your stupid, that they don't believe in you, as well as constantly mock every part of your life? I'm fucking SICK of this. It's like a ticking time bomb, when will she go off? when will she go boom? When will she finally be pushed SO far that she doesn't feel like she can take anymore. I think we're getting close to fireworks.
Shake your head it's empty
Shake your hips move your feet
Shake your head it's empty
Shake your hips move your feet
Shake your head it's empty
{/Beats & Rhythms --
it's the words of my soul
I'm so glad that I'm an island
I'm so glad that I'm an island
I'm so glad that I'm an island now
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designer  DancingSheep
I'm so glad that I'm an island
I'm so glad that I'm an island now
{/Never Look Back --
watch me waste my life away
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{/credits --
designer  DancingSheep
Sickness was fixing me some
Coughed out my heart in the last stall
Now that the damage is done
I never miss it at all
So you might ask yourself "why am i reading this". Well, no one said you had to.
This is simply an online journal, mostly of the worst of days because sometimes we're just not ready to let go of those emotions. Somtimes you don't want to feel better. Sometimes you just want to be angry, or sad. For me reading over everything helps me stay that way. I know it sounds weird but sometimes we need to hit rock bottom, hell, before we can get better. These memories are hard to relive, hard to forget. So until I find a better way to deal with all these bottled up emotions, here they will stay.
Coughed out my heart in the last stall
Now that the damage is done
I never miss it at all
{/In The End --
this one's for you
So you might ask yourself "why am i reading this". Well, no one said you had to.
This is simply an online journal, mostly of the worst of days because sometimes we're just not ready to let go of those emotions. Somtimes you don't want to feel better. Sometimes you just want to be angry, or sad. For me reading over everything helps me stay that way. I know it sounds weird but sometimes we need to hit rock bottom, hell, before we can get better. These memories are hard to relive, hard to forget. So until I find a better way to deal with all these bottled up emotions, here they will stay.