he's right. he's always right. and every part of me is telling me he's right for me. So why must this be so difficult. Nothing has been decided but why does everything just seem so final? It's so hard to explain. I wish i was courageous like you, willing to leave everything behind. But i'm scared. I'm a coward. I'm holding on to everything i've ever known, even though it really isn't much. If anything I should be the one leaving all this behind. But i cant.

I'm sorry i'm not strong. I'm trying but i cant do it. In your arms, i feel so safe and i dont ever want you to let go. I'm a coward i know. But i dont understand. Sometimes it feels okay. It feels like i know we can do it. But all the other times, i'm just scared. I'm scared of losing, i'm scared of being alone in my shithole of a life. Take me with you.

it hurts. its not like you've died, its not like we're not together, but the thought of it still hurts. I'm being selfish. I know i'm being selfish. I really do what you to be happy, i want you to do what you want to do...but on the other hand i just dont understand how you can leave this all behind. I know its not forever...but what if it is. On the other hand i want you here, with me. I'm sorry i feel this way. I'm sorry i cant be strong and i cant stop beng such a baby, but im trying. I'm telling myself it'll be okay. Sometimes i think "if we make it through this we can make it through anything" but sometimes i dont believe it.

i'm looking for answers no one seems to have. i'm looking for closure no one can offer, i'm looking for nothing because i'm happy the way i am now. but it doesnt feel that way. it doesnt feel that way.


"its nothing to cry about because we'll hold each other soon...the blackest of moons"

{/Beats & Rhythms --

it's the words of my soul

{/Never Look Back --

watch me waste my life away

{/credits --

{/In The End --

this one's for you