i fucking HATE dishonesty. i dont think alot of people realize that its probably way better when you tell someone something the sooner it happens than later. you think people would learn that from movies, the ones where someone kills someone and doesnt tell their loved ones till the end or some shit like that then everything goes to fuck because things have already been so fucked up.

it was suppose to be perfect. i was gona run on to the mall, pick up a gift then sneak into your house and make you breakfast. come up to your room and snuggle up with you in bed.we were going to finish that movie. it would of been perfect. then you kept telling me not to, that it was okay and that i should just stay home and that you wanted to sleep in. you made me feel unwanted and that hurt. lying to me was the worst part. I wanted it to be special, to be perfect, but now its runined because you never told me what you should have earlier.

i dont know what im mad at. myself? you? her? god? i dont fucking know. all i know is im angry. maybe at the world. do i have a right to be mad? i dont fucking know. i dont think i care right now. i feel betrayed in a way. I'm mad because you didnt tell me earlier, im mad because i dont get to do what i planned, im mad because im a misrable person maybe.

i dont know what i want anymore. i dont know what i want out of life, myself and you. and sometimes it just feels like i dont even want to know. its so hard finding myself. maybe im wrong to post this but right now i just need to get it all out. i dont want to talk to my best friend right now. im mad at him. i dont like being mad at him. but i am right now and i dont know what to do

{/Beats & Rhythms --

it's the words of my soul

{/Never Look Back --

watch me waste my life away

{/credits --

{/In The End --

this one's for you